This Was A Great Day! 26.2 April 28, 2018

I See You.

Someone said this to me the other day. Someone I don’t know very well. I am attempting something new and it’s hard. In three little words, she let me know that she’s aware I am struggling and uncomfortable but she’s looking past all of it to what she’s sure I can become if I don’t give up.

I have done very little in the way of upper body strength since having breast cancer. Sure I’ve run but never anything that directly affected my chest. I haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about the why because life is busy and I was doing other things. But when it comes right down to it strengthening my upper body means that I HAVE to focus on it. I have to acknowledge my lack of full range of motion, the pain at the top of my rib cage that feels permanently bruised and the random Charley Horses that come on when I move in a certain way. Then you add in the emotional component of not being as strong as I used to be and that my chest and a large portion of my upper back on my left side are completely numb. I certainly have never been the best in the room in a gym class but I have always been able to hold my own.

I have known for a while now that I need to get over myself and begin to make my whole body strong and not just the lower half.  So, the last week in December I joined a gym that has early morning classes, took a deep breath and showed up. In November I went back to wearing wigs full time because my hair is horrifyingly thin and in my quest to be cute I could no longer deal with my scalp showing. Very few people see me without one these days and if they do I am wearing a baseball cap. The cap got too hot for gym class so now I am going without it which is fine but it adds another layer to the emotional component because although there are a few familiar faces no one knows me enough to know what I’ve been through or what I am capable of.

What happens when all of these things are swirling in the air? I boldly wave my insecurity flag for all to see. I start nervously chatting about a marathon, cancer and being someone that normally gets up early. No one needs this information, they have their own stories of triumph and tragedy and the last thing they need at 5:30 am is a fluffy girl in hot pink tights and very thin hair blabbing about herself so no one thinks she’s a loser.

So, to have someone look past all that I am putting out there and take the time to tell me that they “see” me, well, it meant a lot. Since that day I have quieted down a bit and found a spot where I can’t see myself in the mirror and I am doing what I set out to do on the 1st day I walked in there. I am focusing on getting stronger. I originally thought it was just going to be my body but it looks like my heart and my mind are going to get a bit of a workout as well.

Have A Beautiful Day My Friends!

Tiffany

Last Chemo Roadtrip! June 2015

June 6, 2015 was my last chemo treatment. It has been almost 3 years. Three years ago Mr. Wonderful and I went for a walk. We lived in an area surrounded by hills. I was thrilled to be done and out in the fresh air with the person I love most in this world. As we walked we marveled at all we had been through so far that year and all that was yet to come, (I still had 6.5 weeks of radiation to go). I remember getting to a certain part on the hill, the steep part. Mr. Wonderful started pulling ahead because I was weak and tired. He reached back for my hand and began to pull me along. He reminded me that all I needed to do was put one foot in front of the other and to keep moving. We were not in a hurry but each step I took would help me to grow stronger.

This morning as we got ready for the day, Mr. Wonderful leaned in, gave me a kiss and told me how proud he was of me. Why? Because in 3 weeks I will run my 1st Marathon. He’s still encouraging me, cheering me on and providing a shoulder to cry on when the days get rough. And friends? I’m not going to lie. Some days have been rough.

Like I said we (my friend Debbie and I) are three weeks out. Okay, I’m 3 weeks out. Debbie is flying out next week to run The Boston Marathon (for the 5th time) and then she will come home and fly with me a week and a half later to run the Mt. Charleston Marathon. Leading up to all of this we have run 20 miles twice and 22 miles once. 4 days a week I arise at 3:15 am and hit the road by 4:00. We’ve run through freezing temperatures, dumping rain and howling wind. A few occasions its been all three at the same time! My 5th run of the week is usually on a Saturday when I allow myself the luxury of sleeping in until 7:00.

1st 20 miler… I was a hurtin unit…

I have paid close attention to my body, my gear and my coach. A few weeks back I discovered there was one area I had completely overlooked… fuel. The world of pre-workout drinks and midrun pick-me-ups was completely foreign to me. 14 miles into our 1st 20 miler, I was exhausted. My legs were sore and hard to pick up. By mile 17.5 I was in tears and when we finally hit mile 20 I was relieved and discouraged at the same time. It’s hard to be proud of yourself when you can barely move. Each step was a monumental effort. All I kept thinking was … “I have no idea how I am going to add 6.2 miles to this in a few weeks.”

I couldn’t figure it out, all this training, all this time. I expected it to be hard, but not like this. My legs fully recovered within 48 hours so I knew there must be something else going on. After lots of questions and a little research, I armed myself with gu, water, sports drinks and tabs that taste like Sweettarts. We ran another 20 the following week and I ate before the run as well as used all of my new found treasures. What a world of difference it made! It was a completely different run. I didn’t cry, I just ran. I smiled while I ran and marveled at the grace of God for allowing my body to do this.

Fuel. Nothing runs without it. Not you, your car, your favorite motorized vehicle or your life. All of this fueling reminds me to take stock of what I am filling my life with. What am I eating, reading, watching and listening to? Are these things propelling me forward or holding me back? I am learning that running is a lot more than just getting out the door.

I have come a long way in 3 years. I still have a long way to go but I am open and willing to learn the lessons as they come. As I write this we are in the final two weeks of tax season. I don’t prepare the taxes but I fill in all the gaps at home so Mr. Wonderful can do all that needs to be done for our staff and our clients. Because of this my posts have been a bit thin as of late so I can be where I need to be for my family.

I have much to fill you in on… next up… the other people I could not run this race without.

Have a beautiful day my friends!

I ♥ Him!

I  just finished up a book by author, Kat Lee, called hello mornings I was intrigued by the title because I am a morning person. I love mornings but I do go through seasons when I wonder why if I am getting up so early is more not getting accomplished? It can be frustrating if find at the end of the day the extra hours you were up before anyone else didn’t make any difference at all.

Sometimes its perspective and reminding myself what is and what is not important and sometimes I need a little kick in the hiney to best use the time I have carved out.  The book is mainly for those who do not get up early and the author has come up with 3 simple things one can do every day to begin to make early a habit and something to build upon.

1. God
2. Plan
3. Move

That’s it. Those three things. The best part it only takes 3 minutes.

1. Read/Memorize/Write out and or Pray Psalm 143:8
2. Look at your calendar for today – 1 minute
3. Drink a glass of water – 1 minute

The author lays out these three things in the 1st chapter of the book so she can then elaborate on how each item works and how to take these small steps and add on to them later. Her main idea is to start somewhere and to not beat yourself up when life gets in the way. What I liked about it is that it removes the guilt for those days when kids are sick or something else important that needs my immediate attention. If I can only get those three things in, well… its something.

I upped my running game last September. I began getting up even earlier than normal and running with friends who have some of the same goals as I do. It has been a game changer for me and I am loving it. I am running faster and farther than I ever thought possible.

While the running is going great it has left little time for time in The Word and writing because by the time I get home there are but a few minutes before the kids are up and the day has begun. After reading this book I think where I am falling short is in the planning part. If I know there is a very short window to get stuff done before the kids get up then I need to set that time aside and get it done. No Instagram, no chatting with Mr. Wonderful nothing but the task at hand. Because once that time is gone it’s gone.

I would love to say that I will read and write in the evenings but that is a no can do. I have very few mental faculties left in the late afternoons and evenings. A 3:15 am wake up time means there is also a 3:15 pm shut down time. Obviously, I still function after 3:00 pm but ask me to do much more than make dinner, fold a bit of laundry or curl up with a good book and we will have some serious issues.

A plan. I need a better plan. There needs to be a bit more structure to my days so that I can know what to expect and how to adjust when it gets off kilter. My life makes more sense to me when I can see (on a schedule) what the end goal is for the day. What did I find so important that I took the time to write it down? If its important to me then why haven’t I carved out time to do it? Why did I schedule something over the top of it and not find space elsewhere?

Side note: I began writing this yesterday, this morning was one of those mornings where you have to tell yourself over and over again… “if you do not get out of bed right now you will hate yourself forever.” I got up, checked the weather app on my phone to determine if I needed a raincoat. It said clouds but I did note the big red bar at the top of the screen that said, TSUNAMI ALERT. (I live on the Oregon Coast) I didn’t take my raincoat and noted halfway down the block as I was driving to our running spot that it was indeed raining. I went back for the coat.

1.76 miles into our run, the goal for the day was 4/5 miles, we stopped at the top of a large hill to catch our breath. For 4:15 am there seemed to be an awful lot of traffic bombing down the hill. A guy pulled up in his pickup truck and told us he had been given credible information from his firefighter buddy that indeed the Oregon Coast was on high alert for a potential tsunami because of an 8.2 earthquake that happened off the coast of Alaska. To make a long story short we  hightailed it back to our cars and headed home (we all live up high on a hill and well out of tsunami danger.)

I get home and while I’m debating whether or not it’s a good idea to wake up Mr. Wonderful at 4:30 am because there may or may not be a tsunami headed our way in a half hour, I get an alert on my phone that all is well. Our town has thankfully been spared. Well as happy as I am about this news, I still have some running to do and because of my schedule 4:00 am is my only time to do it. The whole rest of the day seemed as if it was spent putting out one fire after another, aside from my two-hour reprieve where I was able to meet with some ladies from church to plan an upcoming event. I didn’t have a plan and I never quite got my feet back underneath me.

So all this to say, I NEED A PLAN. Any suggestions? How do you organize your days? Do you have a fail-proof system you want to share? I’m in.

Have a Beautiful Day My Friends!

A Run On “The Rock” – Always A Favorite Morning

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
    for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
    for to you I entrust my life. Psalm:143:8

Well, here we are! Summer has arrived, Wahoo!! I for one am thrilled about this because I am soooo ready to be warm! Of course, I will have to leave town in order to get warm as unfortunately, the Oregon Coast is not known for balmy weather. There are not too many days here where you can go without a sweatshirt. And shorts? Forgetaboutit!! But Summer does mean it is warm somewhere and I am planning on finding all the warm spots I can over the next several months.

The other great thing about Summer is hopefully the rain will dissipate a bit. It feels like it has rained nonstop since October. Last year, when I trained for a half marathon I had the pleasure of doing a ton of walking in preparation for running because the weather was so nice. This year? Not so much. I haven’t bounced back from my two surgeries like I thought I would and because of all the rain, I did not spend as much time walking and probably began running before I was ready. But begin, I did and well, it has been an interesting ride.

I began this year’s running adventure just after Christmas. It snowed here, which NEVER happens and I wanted to get out and enjoy it a bit. I couldn’t really play as I was still recovering from surgery so I did the next best thing and went for a walk.

It wasn’t much, but it was a beginning

By the end of January, I was running, mostly because I could no longer spend that much time walking in the rain. Running gets me done quicker… okay, not much quicker but I like to tell myself it’s quicker because it makes me feel better.

I keep thinking each run is going to get easier. So far this has not happened and I am also not getting any faster. Last year I was running 9:30 per mile and I felt great. This year 11:30 per mile and I feel like I’m dying. The slow miles, coupled with the never ending rain made it extremely hard to be motivated to get out the door. There were some weeks I only ran once. I knew this was folly because there wasn’t much time to prepare for the Eugene 1/2 marathon in May to begin with. The more time I took off meant the less time I had to be ready. At the beginning of April I made the decision to not sign up for the 1/2 in May and set my sights on a  13.1 run here in Coos Bay in June.

I like the idea of this run because the course is the road I do all my long runs on. I’ve been running this road for two years and I know where every 1/2 mile marker is. Marker, is a generous term because my “markers” are large bushes, houses, fences etc. They are points I have memorized along the route so I know when to turn around and go back. I don’t go out and run 10 miles, I run 20, half miles. I have to trick myself mentally or I would never finish. Speaking of 10 miles, I ran my 1st 10 miler of the year last week.

This coming Saturday is the run…. 13.1. It will certainly not be a big race with fanfare and t-shirts and all that other hoopla. I am kind of glad for this because right now I just want to get out there and get r done. I’m feeling a bit anxious because I still don’t feel super ready, but, I am going to get out there and run anyway.

I have had a dream since my early 20’s to run a full Marathon. I have set my sights on October 2017. This marathon dream of mine has sat on the shelf for an awfully long time. My thought process is this, if I can complete a half marathon in June then surely I can complete a full marathon in October. Hey, if I survived breast cancer, surely I can survive a marathon right? I don’t know what will happen between now and October but I am going to run. I am going to put the time in, one foot in front of the other and I am going to keep pushing until I cross the finish line of a 26.2-mile race.

Have a Fabulous Day My Friends!

PS… Update:

I finished! 13.1 miles!

It was not pretty, it was my slowest 1/2 marathon to date, I did not feel well when I finished so no triumphant video to post AND I was DEAD LAST!! To be fair to myself there were only about 10 runners. but still … LAST. I will post more on this later. For today, I am glad it’s over and I can focus on gearing up for future runs.

Have a Fabulous Day My Friends!