What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do.

Searching for Shawn / TiffanyAOlson.com

(These photos were not taken by me. They were on Facebook, highlighting the situation going on in our town.)

We all know that life is hard. But sometimes life smacks you or your friends and family right in the face and you find yourself in a space so hard to navigate it is difficult to even breathe. What do you do when you don’t know what to do? How do you help when you feel helpless? What is the best way to comfort someone when there is no comfort to be found? When desperation and fear and worry are the mantra of the moment how do you show that you care without being intrusive and yet not back away so far that you appear ambivilant?

Unfortunately tragedy abounds in our world and one would think that since we are surrounded by it that we would be better at navigating through these times with our families and friends. Michele Cushatt wrote a blog post a few months back that included a list 60 things you can do for others when they are struggling or in need. I saved it to my email because I knew that I wanted to pass it along at some point. Today is the day. The suggestions will not work for every situation but it a great guide to provide ideas when you know you need to do something even if the recipient never knows you stepped in.

All of this is weighing heavy on my heart as we have had a father and son from our little town go missing while hunting last weekend. This is a small town. If you do not know the guys directly, chances are that you know their mom, wife, sister, cousin, kids etc. Fortunately by the grace of God, the son was found just over 24 hours ago. We are all still praying and contending that the father will be found in short order. Husbands, brothers and friends have joined Search And Rescue and are out combing the woods and have been for days. The waiting is brutal the hope is high and the community of Coos Bay/North Bend has banned together in prayer, time, donations and man power to bring this father home to his family.

Searching for Shawn / TiffanyAOlson.com

This is our town and our situation. Prayers are desperately needed but chances are you have stuff going on where you live as well. People that are hurting and desperate for respite from the pain of illness, abuse or loss of a loved one. Here are a few of the ideas that Michele presented in her post. If these specific ideas don’t work in your circumstances my hope is that they will get the ball rolling to inspire you come up with some great ideas of your own.

  1. Pray
  2. Write a letter
  3. Provide Meals
  4. Care for their pets
  5. Clean their house (or hire it done)
  6. Send a gift basket

Sometimes we are directly involved with those that are suffering and other times we are not. My 45th birthday fell just after my mastectomy. My friend Heidi had every friend, relative and casual acquaintance she knew send me a birthday card that year. The cards just kept coming. I knew very few of these women and I felt so special that they had all taken the time to send me a birthday note because they knew that it was a particularly hard year. I’m thinkin’ that I received around 50 cards that year. It didn’t change my situation but it sure brightened my day.

Searching For Shawn / TiffanyAOlson.com

I can’t be boots on the ground in what is going on in our town (my husband is out there) but I can pray and I can ask all of you to be praying. I can donate food and I can be a support to my friends that are a little closer to the situation than I am. Thank you Lord that you see Shawn Higgins right this very moment and that you are with him. Please guide the rescuers to his exact location and bring him back home to his family. Thank you for bringing Trevor back and for bringing some relief to a mama’s heart that is shredded. In your holy and precious name, Amen.

Searching For Shawn / TiffanyAOlson.com

Step Out. Give. Love. Pray. It is the only way to truly live.



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  1. ❤️

  2. Becky Crane says

    You are such an inspiration to me, Tiffany. I’m hopeful that our paths will cross again someday and I have the opportunity to get to know you better ❤️

    • You are too kind Becky! Thank you for your kind words and I would love to get to know you better. Thank you for all that you do at the school. Bridger is so excited to be a part of Mustang Pride. Our kiddos are lucky to have you.♥

  3. Jim Roemer says

    Thank you, Tiffany. Shawn is being held up in prayer.
    -Jim Roemer, Ashland.

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