You don’t want to be successful. Your not desperate enough or you haven’t been kicked hard enough to do whatever it takes to succeed in your eating habits and your financial life.
These words were spoken to me a few weeks back by someone who I dearly love and who dearly loves me. I didn’t however, feel very loving towards them as these words were spoken. Not only that but it has taken me a while to process through those words and decide what is true and what I need to let go of.
It’s easy to throw out a blanket statement. You see what you want to see and then produce some words you think someone needs to hear. Problems arise though when you don’t see their heart nor take note of how they are wired and start using your own definition of success to define someone else’s life.
To be fair I was lamenting about how hard the last several years have been and that I can’t seem to find my footing. I regretted being this honest as soon as the words came out of my mouth, because the reality is, I like my life. There are not many of us however who can’t deny that the idea of being a few pounds lighter and having a few more pennies in our pockets sounds heavenly. I guess what I was getting at is that I was wishing life was a little easier and what I got in return was…
You don’t want it bad enough.
In some ways he’s right. I recently read the book, Girl Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis. I gleaned some things out of it I really needed to hear and I also set aside what I knew would never work for me. Like the part about her workaholic lifestyle and constantly being on the move and being so stressed out that she got Bell’s Palsy… twice. When I read this, everything in me screamed… “I soooo do not want that life!” I am not even remotely wired that way. The few years I put in that much effort in I was awarded with stage 3a breast cancer.
Don’t get me wrong. I get up between 3:00 and 4:00 am Monday thru Friday. I work out, go to work, make dinner do laundry and shuttle our teenagers around after school. After dinner, however, you can find me on the couch reading. I do not have the perfectionist gene so at times, while I am on the couch there are dirty dishes in the sink, laundry that needs to be folded, or a floor that needs vacuuming.
As loud and obnoxious as I can be and as much as I want to make a “difference” in this world, I’m old school with the whole raising kids thing. I only have 5 years left with them under my roof and I want to be here, I want to be present, in person, to help them navigate life while I still play a large roll in it. This means that I leave the office at 3:00, I take them where they need to go, I chat with them about their days and whatever issues they are working through. They are my people.
Maybe I have thought about those words so much in the last several weeks because it’s forced me to take the time to determine what success means to me and what I am willing to risk to achieve it. The truth is when I take stock of my life I don’t think success has much to do with a number on a scale or how much is in my bank account. These things are important and I am constantly working on both but overall I always go back to God, family, and friends. Those are the things I put most of my efforts and energy into. I certainly have dreams and things I would like to do but this situation was a reminder to me that when I am tempted to lament my current circumstances I need to measure up those feelings to my definition of success so I can hold my head high and be grateful for the life I have chosen.
Have A Beautiful Day My Friends!
Gala – March 2019
Tiffany
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Girl you are success! I love you and every crazy thing about you. I love how hard you love. Keep doing you. Don’t change a thing.
Thank you, my friend. I love how we push each other forward. We both have big dreams and its fun to have someone who “gets” it and inspires me to keep dreaming. ♥
It’s a reminder we all need – what does success mean to me and what am I willing to sacrifice to be successful. And there are seasons where our focus has to shift. You are right where you are supposed to be :).