What Do You Let In?

It took me forever to figure this out but I am a very visual person. You can’t walk up to me and describe in detail the design plan for your new home because it will go in one ear and out the other. I need to see the blueprint. When Mr. Wonderful and I lived in Eugene we had this little tiny house and really big yard. Mr. Wonderful is a yard guy so he had all these dreams and plans for what he invisioned that our yard would look like one day. He literally had to draw out our whole lot on paper and draw in each flower bed, tree, bush and flower for me to even begin getting excited over this project with him. On a side note it turned out beautiful and only took us (him) 5 years. (:

Being the visual person that I am once I see stuff, I am not inclined to forget what I saw. This is great when you are building a house or landscaping a yard, not so great when you read or watch things that you just cannot forget. I have learned over the years to be very particular about what I let myself watch. In High school me and my girlfriends were into all those “B” horror movies like Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street. It didn’t bother me then but it really bothers me now. There are a lot of great movies out there that I just cannot watch. Here’s a perfect example. There is a movie that recently came out called Revenant. It is a historical movie based on some mountain men in the early days of settling in the western part of the United States. Mr. Wonderful had mentioned it to me because our son’s name is Bridger. He’s named after Jim Bridger who is one of the characters portrayed in this movie. I got all excited and watched the trailer. Umm …no. There is no way I could handle that movie and told him he’d have to call up one of his buddies because I would never sleep again if I watched that. I think that Leonardo Dicaprio won the best actor award for the movie so I am sure it was great. Just not great for me.

I wonder if it’s because as I have gotten older and seen so much life that I really don’t have a desire to entertain myself with stuff that doesn’t make me happy. I’m a dweller so I need to have things to dwell on that inspire me and challenge me and make me want to do and be better. I don’t want to entertain myself with things that depict real life because I live real life. I have watched my best friend die of cancer (she was 30) only to then get diagnosed with the same cancer 3.5 years later. My sweet friend lost her 35 year old husband to a small plane crash last fall, another sweet friend has just lost both of her sons unexpectedly within 2 months of each other, my mother in law is in the latter stages of ALS and I am currently talking with three girls all under the age of 40 who are walking through breast cancer and chemo and radiation and surgeries. I have a lot of real life happening so my hearts greatest desire is to watch/listen/read things that give me the courage and the strength to keep going or even just something that makes me smile.

Several years ago a friend of mine told me that I was shallow because I don’t like to watch movies with grit. I’m okay with that notion because I like to sleep at night and I like for positive things to come out of my life. If I am filling myself up with negative then I will pour out negative to those around me. With all that is going on in this world I gotta be honest and say that being or staying positive can be quite a challenge so I intentionally read/watch/listen to things that help me smile and give me the desire to make the world a better place.

What about you? What do you let in?