The Things People Say…

I think that one of the most memorable things that I have learned over the last several weeks is to be super careful about the words that come out of my mouth when speaking to someone who is going through something very difficult. Intentions mean nothing if you walk away from someone leaving them shredded where they stand.

Some of my most favorite comments have been “why don’t you just cut them both off?” “If I got a bad diagnosis, I think I would just want to die because life sucks anyway.” “Are you aware how common it is for husbands to leave their wives when they get sick? They have a hard time coping, so they just leave.” Really? I have just kind of stared at these people and smiled and nodded and then cried after they walked away. These aren’t random strangers, they are well intended people who know me well.  Think, people, think…

I love to laugh, and I do it a lot and as time goes on I will feel the freedom to laugh more about all of this. But right now, I am really hurting, both physically and emotionally. Earlier today I was doing great (I had my masectomy a week ago) I got up for a bit, got out some thank you notes, organized a few things, it felt good. And then I got a phone call, some random person who asked me way to many questions. I got very confused, started to cry and told them they would need to call my husband so he could answer all the questions. It’s the little things. One second you are fine and one second later you are not fine. So when you couple those not so fine moments with rude comments from well meaning friends it’s kind of a lot to take.

I am so well aware that with all of the talking that I love to do that I have said a multitude of things in my lifetime that would have been better kept to myself. So maybe in some twisted way part of this journey that I am on is bringing to light things that I need to be more wary of in my own life and manner of speaking.