Okay so I totally forgot how hard potty training is!! My goodness! This little Katie girl is truly keeping me on my toes. I have at this point resorted to keeping her on a leash at all times so that she can’t slip away and do her business while I am looking the other way. It’s funny how one little doggie can make you feel like such a failure. To me it is logical that after all the times we have gone out back and had successes and treats and loves that she should want to always go outside and get treats and loves for getting it right. Obviously puppies have no ability to be logical so we will continue with the routine until it becomes natural for her. Other than the potty thing she is amazing and adorable and perfect and I love her and so very thrilled that the Olson’s have a new family member.
So mama’s re-entry into the home is going smoother than some of the weekends did while I was doing radiation. I am very thankful for this as we are all trying to figure out what this new normal is going to look like. I am finding that in a lot of ways I am a lot like my new puppy. There are some things that I should just know as a parent at this point. I have been doing this for awhile now and yet somehow the obvious things are the ones that are still the hardest for me. I have this feeling that God just looks down at me and shakes his head and wonders when I will ever get it right.
I am an emoter. There I said it. It’s my greatest and my worst quality all mixed together. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. Where it gets sticky in parenting is that I have a tendency, ok not a tendency, I totally take my kids choices personally. Is this helpful? No. Is it rational? No. Does it make everything worse? Yes. So knowing all of that one would thing that I would quit doing it and just allow their choices have the natural consequences and be done with it. These are not monumental choices mind you, they are things like not cleaning their rooms, or putting laundry away or getting into the car on time for school. Do these things come up everyday? No. For the most part things get done as they should but we go through phases when things just kind of fall apart. Well we are in one of those phases which is no surprise as there is a lot of adjusting going on but we had a situation come up this morning and well, I didn’t handle it well. Not only that but Mr. Wonderful called me an hour or so later and let me know in a very kind way mind you, that I didn’t handle it well. Unfortunately with my big mouth he has had a lot of practice over the years to learn to correct gently. But even gentle correction sucks.
The truth is that I was trying to prevent the natural consequences of the choices being made from happening. Yes. I was being selfish. I didn’t want to have to follow through with what Mr. Wonderful and I had agreed would happen in this circumstance. So what did I do? I badgered. I reminded. I practically begged for things to be done the way I wanted them to be done. The end result was that it didn’t work and the consequence came about and man was it hard! But you know what? A few hours later it all was better. The consequence didn’t kill either of us. What made it so hard was the mommy drama. So logically it seems to reason that I would cut out the mommy drama and move on. I may need a few more treats and loves going forward until I get it right but I do need to get it right for the sake of them and for our relationship.
Mr. Wonderful reminded me that God doesn’t badger or beg. He lets you face the consequences of your actions without fuss or fanfare. He of course offers a better course of action but he allows us to make our choices and loves us through the consequences.
To top it all off I just got back from the school from dropping off something for one of my kids. I went sans wig or hat. My daughter told me later that a teacher asked one of the kids if I was their grandma. Grandma!? My oldest child is 12. I don’t think I will go sans covering until my hair gets long enough to color. Wowie that was brutal.
Have a great day, All!
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That is brutal!! In more ways than one. Watching people you love experience the consequences is soooo hard, especially when you/me are fixers. We don’t want anyone to be hurt, want our circle to be complete and nobody upset. But sadly, none of us learn if we don’t make mistakes and learn the hard way. Even then it can take a few times until we get it.
Katie will get there, the kiddos will get there and so you will you! All of you stronger and closer as a result.
My Dad and I went out to dinner a few weeks ago and the server asked if we were both seniors. That one hurt… I don’t think I look seniorish yet!!!!
Love ya!
I don’t think you look seniorish yet either! ♥
Ah, Sweet Tiff! Thanks for sharing! Any mom can relate to a bunch of what you’re saying. Frustratingly, we seem to learn more from a day’s rough spots than its smooth ones.
Who’d a thunk you’d be potty-training again, hey?? Marta and I keep saying that having a dog is a lot like having a toddler that never grows up. The leash is a great idea. Hope cute little Katie figures it all out soon.
She’s getting better each and every day.♥