Freedom!

Removing The Port Today! (Molly Photo Bomb)

And the port is out! Yippee!! One more hurdle to cross off my list. For those of you who don’t know, the port is something they surgically imbedded into my chest so that they would not have to use an iv every time I went in for an infusion. They put it in, in early march and boy o boy was I ready to get it out. It was great to have it in for ease of access but getting it out was for me, one more step towards healthy.  Apparently I’m kind of a wuss because the surgeon was watching my facial expressions as he was administering the numbing medicine. He looked over at Mr. Wonderful and told him that he was going to give me an extra dose to ensure that I did not feel anything. I guess his other patients can withstand the needle and the stinging of their nerves going numb better than me. The smoke rising out of my chest, the tugging as he was removing the port, which had begun to become one with my body and the screeching sound of the soldering of the veins was a bit unnerving. But other than that it went great.

I went and got my tattoo dots for radiation as well. When I winced as the nurse was piercing my side she said, “Yeah, I  don’t think you should ever get a real tattoo.” What?! Doesn’t everybody wince when they are getting pierced with a sharp object? Not that I am planning on getting a tattoo anytime soon. But if I ever do I have decided that I will have it be the word, “Trust.”

I still seem to be having issues with taking one day at a time, doing what I can for that day and trusting God to take care of tomorrow. So I’m thinking that this potential far off in the distant future tattoo will definitely have to be in a place where I can see it. This way I will always be reminded that no matter what I am facing to Trust that God is in control. To Trust that He has a plan and to Trust in His love for me.

Overall physically I am feeling pretty good at this point. I can taste food again. HOORAY!!  Tasting your food is one of the most awesome things ever. I have no nausea. HOORAY!! And with each passing day I am getting stronger and stronger. Mr. Wonderful and I have begun walking in the evenings and 4 weeks ago he pretty much had to drag me up the hill by our house. We are now up to 3 mile walks and threw in a 6 miler last night. (lots o hills, it was a bit on the brutal side)

I am beginning to look a little closer at what my life will look like on the other side of  cancer. I still have 6.5 weeks of radiation to look forward to and will be done about mid October. My reconstruction surgery will take place sometime next year. But in the interim I am looking at my situation as a do over. What do I want my role to look like in our business? In our home? As I have begun to feel better I have been dreaming a bit more. I have also begun to tackle the closets and spaces in our home that have been neglected for way to long. I have been purging and trying to figure out the easiest way to get years and years worth of family photos digitized. If anyone has any ideas on this it would be greatly appreciated, because I’m beginning think that this photo thing just might take me the rest of my life. Anyway, as I putter, I dream. Each procedure that I go through gets me one step closer to freedom from cancer. Each moment that I choose to Trust brings freedom to my soul. And these things added together provide me with the freedom to create a new future.