Just before the race… Yes, I showered beforehand… thin haired bedhead is not cute…

So I mentioned last week at the end of my post about finishing a 1/2 marathon here in town. It was a spectacularly beautiful morning and I was anxious but comfortable at the same time because of my familiarity with the course.

I knew this was going to be a small race but wasn’t prepared for exactly how small. Of the 20 people that were there only 10 lined up to run the 1/2 marathon distance. To add a little more perspective there were 8 elite runners (well, they looked elite to me), a mom with her tween-age son and me. (the son ran a shorter race) As I sized up my competition I thought to myself that maybe I could at least hang with the other mom. That fantasy ended as soon as the race director said, “Go!”

All along I had planned on treating this race like a Saturday morning run and not a race at all. I am so glad I had this mindset when I began because any other notion would have had me in a state of despair within the 1st quarter mile. Instead I took a deep breath, turned up the volume of the podcast I was listening to (thank you Shauna Niequist and Jamie Ivey) and let everything else go.

Some good friends of ours happen to live 4.7 miles up the road I was running on so Mr. Wonderful and Natalie graciously came out to watch me run by… my own personal cheering section, for the girl in last place. I teared up a bit when I saw them as I was glad they were there but also a bit embarrassed by my inability to run any faster. Mr. Wonderful gave me some water and I kept going.

The course was an out and back, so right after this point the faster runners began passing me going back the other direction. They were, of course, gracious and one by one kept telling me, “good job” as they headed back towards the finish line. I’m not sure if the look I saw in their eyes was pity, concern or bewilderment as to why I was out there in the 1st place. Nevertheless I trudged on and finally made it to the turn around spot.

I was 6.5 miles in at the turnaround and already tired. I decided it was time to turn the podcasts off and to turn the music on. Music makes me run a bit faster so I did begin to gain on the other mom running the race. When I reached the spot where Mr. Wonderful was waiting, our friends the Plummer’s were out there as well cheering me on. I didn’t have enough strength to more than give a brief wave and move along.

In mile 10 I caught up to the other mom. I told her, “good job,” she said the same to me and then she found another gear and took off. In mile 11, I was toast and began wondering how I was going to finish this race. Fortunately and unfortunately I knew exactly how far I needed to go to be done. I seriously began to question my sanity at being out there at all. This is a flat course. I know the road like the back of my hand and I began praying in earnest that this race would just end. Wisely, I kept running because if I had stopped, I never would have started again.

I finally finished. I was so tired I forgot to press the stop button on my watch so I am not sure what my time was other than it was way worse than last year’s time on a much harder course. I didn’t have the strength to care that I had come in last. I was done. I set a goal and I accomplished it. It wasn’t pretty or mind blowing but it was finished.

Finished 13.1!

The older I get the more I see the need to set goals and to see them through. Dreams and goals keep you going, they help you get out of bed each day in hopes of doing one little thing to get one step closer to seeing those dreams come true. Whatever you are dreaming about at this season of your life, sit down and make a plan as to how you can see that dream get accomplished. Set some goals and take the steps to make it happen. It isn’t always going to be pretty or easy but the achievement of finishing what you have started is so worth all the effort put in.

Have a Fabulous Day My Friends!

PS… My daughter took the running photos. She made sure I knew how she captured me and the view at the same time so I could post them to my blog. I am one blessed mama!

Ask anyone how they are doing and 9 times out of 10 you will hear, “I’m soo busy!” Followed by a litany of their never ending to do list. People are running themselves ragged and more often than not they have no idea how to change the pace of their lives to create space. Call it white space or margin or blank spots on the calendar, when you look around you’ll not see many people who have ideas about how to create space or what to do with it once created.

I find myself in the created category. I have created space. I like the space I have created. I can breathe. I add things in or take them out when I find it necessary. My life is full, don’t get me wrong but I have space in every day where I chill (even if my chill time is at 4:00 am). I take the time to read or write, run or hang with the kids depending what is happening that day. I tried napping a few times but as soon as I laid down a hot flash ensued which made me frustrated and not able to sleep, so naps are out. The interesting part is every now and again I find I feel guilty about not being as busy as everyone else and yet I have no desire to add more to my life so I feel like I fit in.

Oh sure there are some weeks which are busier than others but as soon as I feel my schedule begin to take over I start cutting stuff out. I assume there is a bit of fear behind my desire to keep space in the schedule because leading up to my cancer diagnosis there were not even a few minutes of nothingness. Come to think of it, our youngest child spent that entire summer sitting under my desk at the office while I worked. Maybe, if there had been some major payoff it would have made all the time I spent working worth it and I wouldn’t regret that season of life or have fear of returning to it.  Several things were accomplished during the season that set us up to be able to move forward with our business. But, I was also diagnosed with cancer and 1/2 the business walked away the following year so it makes all that I accomplished during that time feel irrelevant.

I have mentioned this before but I had, we had, as a family quit living. We were existing. Running from one thing to the next. Always late, usually frantic never at peace.

⁵ Now this is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. ⁶ You have planted much, but harvested little. You eat, but never have enough. You drink, but never have your fill. You put on clothes, but are not warm. You earn wages, only to put them in a purse with holes in it.”

⁷ This is what the Lord Almighty says: “Give careful thought to your ways. ⁸ Go up into the mountains and bring down timber and build my house, so that I may take pleasure in it and be honored,” says the Lord.⁹ “You expected much, but see, it turned out to be little. What you brought home, I blew away. Why?” declares the Lord Almighty. “Because of my house, which remains a ruin, while each of you is busy with your own house. Haggai 1:5-9

When I read this portion of scripture all I could think to say was, “ouch.” If this is not a perfect picture of what my life looked like then I don’t know what is. It is referring to the people of Israel building their own houses while neglecting the house of God. In the New Testament, there are several references to our bodies being the house (temple) of God. One reference is found in 1 Corinthians…

¹⁹ Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 1 Corinthians 6:19

My desire is to “give careful thought to my ways,” so that my life and my temple reflect the beauty God wants for me to experience in and around me.

A few weeks back I was in a routine checkup and heard the word, “lumps.” No one likes to hear these words but a cancer survivor least of all. I ended up making several trips to Eugene in a very short time frame. Fortunately, the “lumps” ended up being fatty tissue but I had margin in my schedule to handle the situation. There is nothing like being emotionally taken back to day one of your cancer adventure to remind you not only to keep things in perspective but to also remember what is important and what is a waste of time. Honestly, have never been more grateful for fat in my life!

I certainly don’t have it all figured out and I struggle with not feeling more accomplished and a bit less than my busier friends but for me and for my family, space brings peace.

Have a Fabulous Day My Friends!

Have you ever had someone do something amazing for you when you know deep in  your heart you don’t really deserve it?  Monday April 17th is the 121st time the Boston Marathon will be held. It will be the 4th Boston Marathon for my friend Debbie Stemmerman.

Debbie is well known in our little town as an avid runner. There aren’t too many non rainy days, if one gets up early enough, that you can’t see her running through town while the rest of the citizens sleep. Debbie’s kids have all graduated high school but she is still  out on the track coaching kids, raising up the next generation of runners.

Coach Debbie…

Besides runner, mom, coach, wife, daughter and friend there is something else Debbie is well known for, her tireless efforts to use running to raise awareness and funds for cancer research.

Cancer has affected just about all of us in one form or another. For Debbie she has lost a very dear friend and a nephew to this horrible disease. When I was diagnosed both her friend and her nephew were still living. I didn’t see her a lot during treatment mostly because I was not out in public very much. While some live their cancer loud and proud, I just wanted to be home with my family and get through it as best I could.

I have relayed this story many times and I choke up every single time…

I was pulling into Fred Meyer one day during my season of chemo treatments when I received a text from Debbie. I hadn’t seen her since I had been diagnosed because of my whole hiding out thing. Her text read…

“I took you on my run this morning…Thank you for helping me along the way you were in my thoughts for 17 miles… It was a beautiful morning thank you for being There if only in spirit you were a ton of help😘“

It still makes me cry because I so needed to hear that I wasn’t alone and to know people were thinking of me even if I couldn’t bear to show my face.

Well as if that wasn’t enough Miss Debbie texted me a few months back and asked me if it would be alright to add my name to her running shirt on race day as a way to honor me and how far I have come. Race Day! Not just any race. The Boston Marathon!!

There are countless cancer survivors who have fought harder and been much braver than me so I struggle a bit with being honored in such a way. I am not all that brave or strong. There were a lot of moments during my cancer season when I wish I had been stronger and better able to hold myself together. As far as treatment goes, I did what any other person facing cancer does and by the grace of God I survived.

Debbie has taken her life’s passion… running, and uses it as a tool to make a difference. She has a sponsor page where she takes donations for cancer research, she stays intricately involved with those who are fighting the battle and she champions the memories of those who are no longer with us.

I pay attention to the Boston Marathon every year because I enjoy running but I will always remember the 121st race in 2017 because it’s the year that I was placed right above Debbie’s heart.

Run like the wind Debbie! I love you!

Do something for someone today to show them you care. A simple text to a friend or honoring them in some special way when they are in a hard spot can make more of a difference than you will ever know…

Have A Fabulous Day My Friends!