The Chair…

The Chair

The Chair

Well, with last weeks 5 star adventure in the hospital and the subsequent two week stint of oral antibiotics, they have decided to put off round 4 of chemo for a week. This was a bit of a blow as I am not really wanting to prolong this process but more than that I do not want a repeat of last weeks excitement. So while we sit and wait for the next chapter in Tiffany’s chemo saga I thought I would give you a little glimpse of the “Infusion Room” and most importantly “The Chair.”

As you can see from the photo above it’s quite a beauty. It’s vinyl and the color of vomit. My assumption with the vinyl is that it makes the blood and vomit easier to clean up should such an eventful occurrence take place. Fortunately for me I have not experienced either. The Chair does lean back a bit so that when the Benadryl hits your system and you really want to look like the girl on the left but you actually look like the girl on the right, you can at least recline a millimeter or two kind of like reclining in a seat on an airplane.

sleepingDuring chemo #3, Mr. Wonderful left for a bit to run an errand. When he came back and I was sitting there with my mouth hanging open, his 1st reaction was to laugh.  But then, he sat down and just hung out with me and my open mouth and tried to act like it was normal. I think this might qualify for the one moment in my life where I really don’t look cute. I am continually reminding him and our children of my cuteness (lest they forget) and he graciously, because he is wonderful, does not remind me of my not so cute moments/hours/days/years.

The Infusion room is quite an interesting place. There are large windows for you to look out of but almost all of the chemo chairs are about a foot apart from each other.

The View

The View

This is the view from “my chair.” What you see directly in front is the nurses station and one of the other chemo chairs. You can’t tell from this photo but there is another chair right next to the one in the photograph. For this reason and for my penchant to sleep with my mouth hanging open, I have opted to sit in the storeroom…

The Storeroom

The Storeroom

Yep! Me and the storeroom are good buddies. The bathroom is right next to me and no one but the nurses and Mr. Wonderful have to witness me and my mouth. Yes, it’s a touch on the antisocial front but I try to view it as a protection for others rather than a hideaway.

I also schedule all my appointments for as early in the morning as possible. This means that we have to be on the road between 5:00/5:30am in order to get there on time. The reason for this early time is that if you get an afternoon appointment there is a great possibility that you will have to wait up to an hour to sit down and start your infusion. Yep, there is an actual line down the hallway of patients waiting for their turn in The Chair. This isn’t Disneyland people, its The Chair. I think I can speak for most of those people when I say that there is a real love/hate relationship with The Chair. The love is that by infusing all of these toxic chemicals into your body that you are hopefully going to be given life. The hate is that by infusing all of these toxic chemicals into your body is that they have to bring you close to the edge of death. And believe me there are days when you truly feel like the death part is going to win out. And then there are days (like today) when you actually feel pretty good. The sun is shining and you can hear your children accusing each other of cheating while playing a life altering game of wall ball in the garage and all feels right with the world once again.

The reality is that we all have our moments with The Chair whether or not you ever have cancer. Every single one of us have seasons in our lives that just plain suck. There is no way out. We have to be in the moment, present. There is a lot to be learned in the present that we would never have learned otherwise. The hope is that on the other side we will emerge into a much better version of ourselves than we were before the season began. This is what I am contending for. I want all of the hours that I have spent and will spend in The Chair to mean something, to matter, to provide me with the ability to help someone else down the road who gets to sit there as well.

Colossians 1:11 says “We also pray that you will be strengthened with all his glorious power so that you will have all the endurance and patience you need. May you be filled with joy.”

I need Strength. I need His Power. I need Endurance. I need Patience. Because I want to be filled with Joy.

We all need these things. The Chair will either make you or break you so choose to pray Colossians 1:11 over your life and all the others you know that are having their chair moments. You will be glad you did.

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Comments

  1. Judy Gederos says:

    Tiffany……I can`t imagine what it is like. This pretty much lays it out! I pray for you strength, patience, endurance and joy! Please God….give this precious lady the power to handle everything….in and out of the “chair”!!! Love you Tiffany!

  2. Thanks so much for sharing this! Well done, as usual. Much strength and joy to you in the midst of it all.

  3. Heidi Graham says:

    I love your transparency and humor regarding The Chair. Having witnessed you in it myself, I have to say you make The Chair look pretty good. . Thank you for sharing your heart and stories. Love you!

  4. Holly Tomlin says:

    Awesome insight, Tiffany! You have never ceased to amaze me at your humor, determination, and strength. But now, through your pain and transparency, I see such Godly wisdom and love. God is greater than we could ever imagine. He has said that He is with you always…even while you are in the “chair” asleep with your mouth wide open. He loves you and we do too. We’re praying for you and Rod. Thank you, my friend! Sending love and a big hug!

  5. Bridget Raach says:

    Tiffany, everyone’s experience is unique, but I’m right there with you about The Chair. Even a few years out and as soon as I saw the picture of that chair I got a bit of a sour stomach. UGH! I look forward to reading what you write each time you add to your blog. Know that I stand beside you in the way a sister who has walked the same walk can. Much love as you walk through this stinkin’ hard time!

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